Adoption Law in NY State states that: A surrender may be signed by birth parents at any time after birth. The surrender becomes irrevocable 30 days after signing the surrender if taken by an Authorized NYS adoption agency and transfer of child to adoptive parents was made.
Our 30th day was over at 11:59pm last night. I was awake waiting. The first night since bringing D home that I felt the familiar pangs of insomnia creep in.
It’s okay. We made it. It’s all okay. Breathe Katy and Ethan. Breathe. It’s real. It all really did happen. It’s okay. It’s real.
I struggle to say, “he ours” now. He doesn’t belong to us, or to anyone. He is not property.
He is my baby boy who gets a little extra love today. Brother will too, I’m sure of it. ❤️ Irrevocable.
It cannot be changed.
It cannot be reversed, or recovered.
It is Final.
A ginormous wonderful sigh of relief for me. I feel more myself. I can settle into my family of 4. I’m so damn happy.
I am so sad for D's first mother. I can’t believe what she has decided to do. I truly can not. I want to scream, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? HOW COULD YOU?? I am angry. Angry at systems that make women choose. Angry at her. How could anyone not want D? I KNOW that is an irrational view of the situation.
I know that. Love is irrational sometimes, and I love her. I do I do I do.
I know he is my child with his own beautiful and broken path to me. I am once again humbled by the adoption process in new and different ways with D and his story. I know he is both of our sons, and the only way for that to be true is because she signed surrender papers and because the 30 days that followed slipped away to bring us to this moment; Changing me and my family for the better.
Kiss your babies. It’s an absolute honor and privilege to get to do so. Xx